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[beeped]

Comments

[stantheman]

Hypothetically, if you liked someone (maybe) that might celebrate a gift giving holiday that you don't but you're not sure...

should you get her a present?

1/2

[beeped]

wait wait wait HOLD THE PHONE you like a girl?????
is she hot??? do i know her? who is she???????????

2/2

[beeped]

obviously!!!! give her a sweet sweet gift and put the uris moves on her

[stantheman]

Do I have to explain the word "hypothetical" to you?

And you're insane if you think I'm telling you anything about her.

What kind of gift...?

[ Why is he talking to Richie about this? The mistake has already been made, though.

He ignores the whole moves thing because, Richie, No. ]

[beeped]

it means pretend this isn't real but it actually is
i'm not stupid
i bet i know her. you can't know that many people that i don't know
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

what does she like? you should go with that

[stantheman]

That's only sometimes. Sometimes a hypothetical is just a hypothetical and it's just a possibility and not necessarily real!

You're kind of stupid. I've seen some of your tests.

She likes her garden and making animal noises... and books, I think. And she likes freedom and birds.

Should I get her a book?

[beeped]

you're sure in a twist for it being just a hypothetical

yeah i know, the b- i got on a math test that one time was really shitty

a book
with a bald eagle on it
a book about bald eagles? there u go

[stantheman]

Shut up.

A total disgrace.

Oh. That's not horrible.

[beeped]

i know, there's no bouncing back from that

yeah well when you score don't forget which buddy of yours helped you out!!!!

[stantheman]

you'll be a janitor for certain, condemned to school for eternity.

Stop talking about girls like that!! You'll never score.

[beeped]

if i'm a janitor i'll be sweeping all the girls off their feet! what now!

[stantheman]

dont be gross. You'll be old.

[beeped]

some girls are into that

[stantheman]

only in your dreams

[beeped]

only in my reality brosef imma be rollllling in pussy

[stantheman]

I didn't know there were that many cats around.

[beeped]

hockstetter isn't here, so

[stantheman]

You're impossible sometimes.

Thanks for the eagle book idea, though.

[beeped]

no problemo señor

[stantheman]

If i told you

Like, could you keep your mouth shut for once and not talk to her about it because...
I'm not sure about it... I'd tell you who it is.

[beeped]

ummmm totally
i can keep a secret, i'm the best at secrets

[Except there's a chance he'll immediately tell Eddie if Stan tells him.]

who is it??? tell me

[stantheman]

Like, swear you won't say anything to her or be gross about her.

[ He mostly expects but he also mostly expects Eddie not to be a stupid idiot and humiliate him. ]

[beeped]

i will swear on whatever you want. like eddie's mom! really i won't say anything to whoever she is

[stantheman]

Laura.

[ Good thing they're not talking in person because he has a silly grin. ]

[beeped]

[It's also a good thing Richie isn't there, because he definitely shrieks about it.]

i knew it!!!!